A Whole New World

I have decided that I no longer want to be part of this world at all. Whoever’s in charge, could you move me as quickly as possible? Why do you ask? Well, I’ve simply found a better world. A world where the only worry in life is when you miss the free buss and have a seven minute wait for the next one... A world where you have all day to yourself, and yet you still manage to get other people to do things for you. And, most importantly of all, a world where you can be as annoying, rude and ask as many awkward questions as you like, and people still smile at you and be polite regardless... I’m talking about the world of the elderly.

I’ve only really noticed this world fully in the past week... I mean, I used to often see glimpses of it. Back in my school days I’d noticed that the school bells had the opposite power to the elderly as they do to the young... When the bell tolls, kids go into lesson, while the elderly use this as their cue to leave the house... at 3:30, the roles switch.

Anyway, I reeeeally started to observe this world when I got landed with taking care of this website as well as my marketing mumbojumbo. The site sells a heee-uge amount CDs full of every artist the elderly could ever dream of. It doesn’t help that they’re all budget priced, so a real wrinkles magnet... and I’m the guy who has to sort out their queries, calls and letters...

Yesterday an elderly-gentleman rang and wanted every CD we had for an Irish country artist. We spoke on the phone for a while. As usual, as with every other person who calls over 60, he told me his general life story, which I didn’t need to hear, all I needed was his credit card number, but I’m starting to get used to these types of discussions now anyway. So, we eventually finalise his order and it’s all sorted, everyone’s happy and I can see my “messages” button flashing on my phone. As I’m about to hang up he whips out the question that made me realise old people really are not connected to this world at all... he said “Oh, could you tell the postman that if he comes and I’m not in, he can leave the parcel in the shed. Tell him if he looks right and follows the bush right round the corner, mine’s the second shed on the left”.

What can I say to that?! Hahaa. Then, today, an old lady rang wondering where her order was. I looked on our system and had no record of anything for her.. she said “but I sent a cheque in” so I replied “Ah, in that case, it’s probably been lost in the mail, we haven’t received it, sorry ma’am.” But no, that wasn’t enough. She posted it, so we obviously had it. But we hadn’t.. but she wouldn’t have it any other way. I even did the “I’ll just double check”-thing and just put the phone down for a minute and picked it back up again “nope, it’s not here”. So eventually she tells me she wrote in and someone replied, which turned out to be me. As soon as she found out that it was me who wrote her a letter it was as if her whole world changed! Hahaa, she dropped her angry tone and was all “Oh, it’s you!! Hello :) if that’s the case then, I’ll just send off another cheque in the post. Thanks for your help! Us oldies love your CDs” Heheee, bless! :D

So, to conclude, being old rocks. I can’t wait.